Do you watch Dr. Phil?

I find the whole thing worrisome. Not the show so much, but the residual effect of listening to it in my car, which is the onset of a realization: quite a few people must be watching this.

Dr. Phil comes to me via FM, from a station in Albany, NY, I believe. I don’t know which one, but I know they have Ellen DeGeneres on after him, and I like Ellen. I’m not against this kind of thing; I’m really not.

My concerns about the good doctor:

I guess my first concern is that I have not yet heard Dr. Phil say one positive or encouraging thing and sound genuine. Not one. It sounds to me (and to be fair I have probably only heard four or five hours of his work), as if Dr. Phil’s people go out and find guests convenient for him to talk down to and objectify.

Clearly, his producers have little trouble finding the right people in the right circumstances on which he can perform this little trick. But that proves very little, and it amounts to a pretty empty meal to serve up to the masses who tune in.

If you happen to catch the show, notice how he does it. You can almost hear music cue up, a tiny pause after the guest says something and then whack- the patronizing zinger. This gets applause from the audience, ego gratification for him, a cheap fix for the viewer… voila. A neat little package deal.

But that’s not hard to achieve when it’s your turf, your show, your context, your audience primed for your program, and your producers bringing in the guests who are in a vulnerable position from the start. It doesn’t impress me much when a man in this position speaks from ego and condescends to people. It just doesn’t. It’s a cheap trick. Any marginally competent human being could do it.

I am left to wonder if people really feel good about themselves after watching. I have walked away several times now with a greater respect for the guests than for the host.

The forty-one year old marrying an eighteen year old girl. The teenage addict. The friend of a deceased celebrity drug addict who didn’t step in soon enough to rescue her. They all sounded more genuine to me than the man up there grilling them.

From what I have heard, our friend Phil usually finds an opportunity to deliver some sort of grandstanding platitude, the kind of cheap wisdom you find hanging in someone’s kitchen after they’ve been through AA. He leaves me with doubt, though, as to whether he has the insight, intuitive feel, or compassion needed to actually help these people or inspire them to make changes in their lives. I don’t know that he helps his audience either, or anyone else, except his network and investors.

But, there is always hope. Who knows, maybe I will turn on the radio tomorrow while I’m out running errands and the man will impress me with his acumen and his sincerity. This is my hope.

I want to believe in you; I believe you are a good man at heart. I am expecting your very best.

You see, Dr. Phil, I’m going to do the thing for you that you fail to do for your guests:

Show us that you can inspire and lead by example. Your guests are vulnerable; don’t go for the kill! That’s pathetic. Speak from your heart, from generosity and compassion, not from ego.

Demonstrate your understanding of this absolute, unshakeable truth:

You can try to motivate people by talking down to them, or you can try to motivate people by believing in them. You always get better results when you treat people as if you believe in them. Always. No exceptions.

And Dr. Phil, I believe you can do it.

For the rest of us, my suggestion is that we shine the light of our attention on those who can imagine something better for this world, who see the beauty and potential in humanity, not look for the worst and exploit it for cash. You could do either with the same guests and the same audience. It all depends on your perspective and where your heart is.

If you’ve watched Dr. Phil in the past, allow me to suggest a man named Dr. Wayne Dyer. I find Dyer insightful, and his words truly resonate. His perspective appears to be informed by sources as deep as they are varied: from the Bhagavad Gita to Ralph Waldo Emerson, to Rwandan genocide survivor Immaculee Ilibagiza. If you don’t know these, don’t worry. The ideas are universal and timeless. They ring true for everyone.

This would be a great antidote to the toxic spectacle we dealt with above. You just might find yourself feeling hopeful afterwards.

Tristan L. Sullivan

www.tristanluke.com